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About Me Member General Poet lacerated-star19/Female/Australia Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
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Statistics 60 Deviations
2,037 Comments
2,958 Pageviews

My heart goes 'boom'

Sat Oct 17, 2009, 3:28 PM
I want to look back at this part of my life with a sort of fond exasperation. Strange to think that I'm plotting how I'm going to feel in the future when I'm living in the now. But I know that there's more to it than the drinks, the angst and all the shit we think we're in. I've never been particularly proactive. I don't know if I ever will be.

Let me lay it out for you. I work part time. I'm currently not studying. I still live with my parents and I'm 19. I have a girlfriend of two years who I love very much.

I regret a lot of things, but I suppose regret is wasted. Some days I want to open my head up, just pop the top on my skull, and absorb the world. Let it sift down on me and settle on the good old grey matter. Maybe then I'll understand my place in it all. But then they say that you have to make your way in the world, forge your own path. Again, I'm not proactive. Sadly enough as much as I would love to burn passionately with a lust for life no such flame has been ignited in me.

I put a lot of stock in love. In the feelings of the heart, romantic, platonic and all those in between. Unfortunately in this regard I lack forethought, as in most areas of my life. When you see a reflection of your own feelings in another person's eyes, does that seal you together? Don't get me wrong, I love the validation of my existence that comes with having a close bond with someone. I just wonder with all the things that could be considered 'ties', is it really best to place so much faith in them? I mean, we're all self-serving egotistical bastards at heart, aren't we? I know I am, and I'll admit it.

My ego is a real problem. I'd much rather be blind to my own faults rather than setting out to fix them.


'My heart goes boom
You indiscretion fills the room
Like a mistake'

- The Cliks - Love Gun

  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: Farewell and Goodnight - The Smashing Pumkins
  • Reading: The Book of Laughter and Forgetting.
  • Watching: Last Exile
  • Playing: Fallout 3
  • Drinking: Water

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Where the heart is.
  • Interests: Anatomy, Anime, Manga, Music, Carpentry, Gardening, Martial Arts,
  • Favourite movie: Undecided
  • Favourite band or musician: At The Drive In, Mars Volta, Placebo, Sleater-Kinney, The Presets, Tegan and Sara, Sparta, The Knife
  • Favourite genre of music: Not Country.
  • Favourite artist: Undecided
  • Favourite poet or writer: Undecided
  • Favourite photographer: Also Undecided
  • Favourite style of art: Fractals
  • Operating System: Windows XP home edition
  • MP3 player of choice: iPod shuffle
  • Shell of choice: The chocolate kind ^_^
  • Wallpaper of choice: Anything that Kristoffer creates =^.^=
  • Skin of choice: Bleach skins for winamp =D
  • Favourite game: Secret of Mana 2, Pokemon, Final Fantasy,
  • Favourite gaming platform: SNES, GBA, DS, Game Cube, PS2, PS3 and Xbox 360
  • Favourite cartoon character: Chopper, Bender, Shizuru, Natsuki,
  • Personal Quote: "I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
  • Tools of the Trade: keyboard, pens.

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Comments


:iconskywarrior108:
Thanks for the :+devwatch:

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Check out my other dA account *JewelOfSong
:iconlacerated-star:
My pleasure =]

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Black melt
:iconwonderlandeffyou:
hey...where have you been missy?
I miss reading your work ^_^
you have such talent

--
Live. Laugh. Die.
:halfliquid:
:iconlacerated-star:
Hah hah,

Well I had a problem with the net, and I just haven't come across a catalyst for any work. For some reason angsting over a straight girl is good for that sort of thing XD.

I've been at uni, working, hanging out with my girlfriend and friends. Just same old really. The main reason I haven't been around is the lack of inspiration.

Well I've missed your comments. You're too kind ^_^.
I was gonna comment on something you recently posted, but then I had to dash out to Uni because I'd spent too long browsing ^^;. I'll do it now.

Well, that's been a major overshare, but I'll leave it out there. Thanks for the comment =]

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Black melt
:iconwonderlandeffyou:
aww haha damn them straight ones! (excluding myself of course ;D)
And I know what you mean for the lack of inspiration...just too much going on to think of anything worth writing -_-

you are too kind yourself missy, and I simply can't help myself when your work just sorta hits me like a freight train...always always really good stuff ^_^

and I shall comment back! but I have to run XP later
and twas my pleasure

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Live. Laugh. Die.
:halfliquid:
:iconlacerated-star:
Naturally you are excluded ^_^

Ah I'm glad you understand, otherwise it would be a pretty shit excuse ^^;

Hah hah, well if you can't help yourself then that's awesome. Even more of a compliment. I don't know if it has that much of an impact ^^;

Lol, ok then. I'll hold you to it! Heh, no I won't.

Take care,



Shea.

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Black melt
:iconwonderlandeffyou:
haha no problem, I enjoy empathizing with people...I usually can do it alright ^_^
MY only issue with girls is their tude sometimes...I could kill myself along with all the rest of them XD
but I will be first to admit if a girl is sexeh...I was thinking about it the other day, my best friend and I are sooo lesbian together sometimes hehehe..But we love each other so much and decided that if we both end up alone, that we would have no problem marrying each other hahaha
that's probably an overshare...ah well haha

And you can hold me to anything you want bebe ;D
ahaha

--
Live. Laugh. Die.
:halfliquid:

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